To the Mom Who Feels Underappreciated

But in my pouting about DOING EVERYTHING (even though, I do very short of everything) I missed the Lord whispering Look around you. This is your earthly reward. Is this not enough?

I like compliments.

I really wish I didn’t. I wish I was so confident that I didn’t need others’ praise. I wish I was so filled by the spirit that I was wholly dependent on the approval of the Lord rather than that of others. But, honestly, it feels good when someone tells me I’m doing a good job, that I’m really good at what I do.

Back in the day, I was a good teacher. I had coworkers and principals and supervisors and athletes and students that showed me gratitude and appreciation daily, that encouraged me and high-fived me, that told me I was good. I felt good about being good. It was easy to be proud. It was easy to feel fulfilled and successful.

This. This staying at home gig. This is not quite like that.

Today I started my day with a four-year-old all up in my pillow. I made three kids breakfast (and by made, I mean poured cereal). I comforted three crying children at different, yet multiple times throughout the day. I folded two loads of laundry. I stripped sheets (which have yet to be replaced with clean ones). I cooked dinner. I swept. Twice. I read books. I sang songs. I pretended to be a cat. I broke up 18,000 fights, pried baby fists loose from 2 screaming girls’ hair, and wiped 359 bottoms. I heard my name shouted post-bedtime 18 times. I went in to hear “I can’t remember” exactly 2 times.

And DON’T YOU KNOW? Tomorrow will be the exact. same. thing.

Day in and day out.

And sadly, most days end with a heaviness. I plop down on the couch with less of a feeling of accomplishment and more of a feeling of irritation. I couldn’t ever put my finger on exactly what it was that had a grip around me, suffocating me. What was it that stripped me from joy day in and day out? Why was I so bitter?

Then it hit me. Entitlement. I am an entitled mom.

I have completely lost sight of my blessings around me because I AM SO FOCUSED ON WHAT I’VE DONE. 

But I cooked.

And I cleaned.

And I wiped bottoms.

DON’T I DESERVE SOMETHING FOR ALL THIS?

Where is my reward? Where is the gratitude? Where is my rest?

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though working for the Lord and not for man, since you know you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.

But I bathed all three kids.

I swept the floor. TWICE!

WHAT DO I GET for all the things I’ve done?

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though working for the Lord and not for man, since you know you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.

I like being rewarded. I like getting pats on the back and feeling my ego stroked.

But in my pouting about DOING EVERYTHING (even though, I do very short of everything) I missed the Lord whispering Look around you. This is your earthly reward. Is this not enough?

You have three precious mouths to feed.

You have three precious bodies to bathe.

You have a husband that works incredibly hard to provide for you.

You have a beautiful home with floors to sweep and dishes to clean.

Is this not enough? 

Why do I need more than them? More from them?

Yes, this job is hard. It is the hardest job I have ever had. It is hard to feel good at it. It is hard to feel accomplished. It is hard to be fulfilled.

But my Heavenly Father knew I needed this. He knew I needed to serve without receiving a “Good job” or a “Thank you so much.” I needed to perform without someone to impress. Without expectation of a compliment. He wanted me to learn to serve just for the sake of serving others and serving him, not self-serving.

Staying at home for your kids is good, but I am not doing this job for my kids. I am not doing this job for my husband. I cannot expect my family to fulfill me. That’s putting WAY too much pressure on a three-year-old. In every dish I wash and diaper I change, I am working for the Lord, not for man. 

And even if I hadn’t already been rewarded (which I have been, a thousand times over), I can rest assured that my reward is coming, and it will be so much better than any compliment anyone on this earth has to offer.

14 thoughts on “To the Mom Who Feels Underappreciated

  1. Beautifully said, Jordan! So much wisdom from one so young. Writing has always been a strength for you, and this is a lovely way to share your talent and your insight.

    Sent from my iPhone

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So needed to read this today. So if it’s only 7:30 and the day is already complete chaos….I’m here to tell you that you are doing a good job. You are inspiring ME! Keep doing the Lord’s work in ALL things! Miss you friend! Heidi Schlemmer

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha! YOU KNOW by 7:20 … it’s complete chaos. And thank you. I am absolutely positive that YOU, my friend, are doing an amazing job as well! I miss getting to see you guys. Hope you’re doing well!

      Like

  3. You are completely spot on, thank you for writing this! I needed to hear this as well. It’s hard work staying at home but it is beyond a doubt rewarding! Even if I do have to beg for kisses from my rotten two year old little boy ha ha, those moments help me to remember why it is that I stay at home and just how blessed I am! 🙂

    Like

    1. Haha! I have to beg for kisses too. Thankfully, my one year old is still at the age that he give me 50 a minute. He more than makes up for the ones rejected by my other two. Thanks for your comment! It’s so hard to remember in the moment how blessed we are.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oddly, my little boy started giving out tons of kisses this past weekend. He’s even giving them to my grandma and aunts, before he wouldn’t even attempt to do that. I think he’s coming out of his shell a bit. 🙂

        Like

  4. Jordan….. I so needed this to be said to me….. Thank you so much!
    In this life we’ve had many transitions and I’ve struggled staying at home with the kids because I didn’t feel a since of accomplishment.
    In reality to serve the Lord is the biggest accomplishment of my life time! Thanks again for reminding me and being a source for me! You truly are a gem! You are awesome!!!!!

    Like

    1. Oh man Lauren. It’s SO hard. There’s no other way to say it. It’s just SO STINKING HARD. I am so glad you found some encouragement through this though! I hope we can both find more joy in serving our families… it’s such a daily struggle.

      Like

  5. Jordan,
    You are wise beyond your years and such an accomplished writer. I am sending the link to your blog to my girls. We miss seeing you and Clark around and wish you all the best!!
    These days are long sweet friend but the years are so short!! Don’t miss anything!! 🙂

    Like

    1. Thank you so much Marka! Honestly, I’m a slow learner. Thankfully, I’m surrounded by really GOOD people that help me see different perspectives. I hope your girls are quicker than me! I feel like I let a lot of days go by without feeling much joy at all.

      Like

      1. I certainly remember those “joy-less” days……..especially when you do a lot of it by yourself…….
        From what I read you have NOT lost your sense of humor and it also appears you are a great encouragement to your readers. Count me one of the encouraged, give yourself some kudos and a pat on the back for taking on the toughest and most important job out there. You will get your “report card” in 18 years or so and I am betting on straight A’s!!
        Hugs to all of you!!

        Like

  6. Thank you for this reminder! It is hard to not seek applause for all the hard stuff we do. I love the emphasis you put on finding your reward right in the middle of your mess. Thanks for linking up this week!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s